Colleen Houck


“I took hold of that scourge -filled ship and crushed it between my limbs, hurtling it into the second sun, the red one that gave me strength. But I was too late." Terraformer

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  • Double Feature Movie Review: Vampire Academy & Winter’s Tale

    February 16, 2014


    Movie Review: Vampire Academy

    Vampire Academy poster us

    Colleen’s Movie Review

    Romance: Each of the girls had a romantic interest, so I’ll go with the blonde, Lissa, first. Her guy was Christian and he is very cute and swoonworthy with a good amount of fan girl potential. His romance scenes were a little too teenybopper for me with the exception of one really good kiss when she wasn’t expecting it.

    vampire-academy-dominic-sherwood-lucy-fry

    The brunette, Rose, had a love interest much too old for her named Dimitri. Despite this, their chemistry was good, near combustible even, and probably due to his age it felt much more mature than the other couple. But these two just do not belong together, at least not for like a dozen years. I liked him and his broody accent, but when the two of them were together it felt a little like a kid crushing on a teacher, just a tad wrong which I guess isn’t always a bad thing. Really good scene for the two of them was when she passed out for no apparent reason and he caught her in his arms, said, “My Rose,” and carried her upstairs in dramatic fashion. Why hello Russian Rhett Butler.

    vampire-academy-danila-kozlovsky-zoey-deutchRose and Dimitri

    Special Effects: There really weren’t any with the exception of some sad CGI werewolf creatures.

    What I Liked: Rose. Rose. Rose. She is funny, interesting, heroic, smart, and she pretty much carried the entire film. Not having read the books first, which is unusual for me, I didn’t know what to expect. Rose blew me away. Loved her and the fresh take on vampire mythology. I liked the movie and the story well enough that if I hadn’t already bought the books and had them sitting on my shelf, I would immediately head out to the store to pick up the series. Also the redhead guy who obviously likes Rose is so cool. He’s a much more appropriate choice romantically.

    What I’d Change: For a newbie like me there were a lot of things I had to guess at. I’m not sure how the religion is tied to Russia or Vladimir for example or why they even call it church and not history. I don’t really know how the elements work into anything. I don’t get why the bad vampires hunt the good ones or how protectors are chosen and trained. An extra ten minutes of world building would have made me very happy.

    The tagline is very lame. “They Suck At School” did nothing for me and in fact I think it dumbed down the film, making it less than what it was. Also I think that tagline scares away adults which is a shame. I’m not sure why editors and Hollywood believe that all YA fans are kids. I’d say well over 50% of my readers are adults, some even seniors.

    Oh and way, way, way too much cleavage for kids that age. Holy Hannah.

    Hunky Hero: Like I said earlier. I really liked Dimitri. He’s no Kellan Lutz but his accent makes up for it. He’s sweet in an old world kind of way. Christian is going to really grow into a Hollywood Hunk in my opinion. He just needs a few more years.

    sdgvw

    The Villain: The villain surprised me. I’m not going to give away who the bad guys were but I will say the end was unexpected. I like that. A lot. It’s hard for a movie or television show to catch me unawares and this one did. Of course that isn’t the movie’s doing, that’s the author so yay for Richelle Mead.

    Best Line: When the redhead kid said, “Solved the mystery and still only get a kiss on the cheek? Seriously?” He’s awesome.

    Best Scene: Dimitri picking up Rose and carrying her up the stairs. Very sweet.

    Recommended for YA fans: Absolutely. First, if you’re a fan of YA it’s imperative that you attend YA movies if you want more to be made. Second, its just a good film and I think you’ll like Rose as much as I do.

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    Trailer

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    Grandma’s Review

    2014-01-19 15.04.07

     

    Grandma’s Bio: My name is Kathleen and I’m Colleen’s mom. I’m a mother of seven and grandmother of seventeen with one bun in the oven (not my oven). They’re all great. None of my kids are duds-you know, like the popcorn kernels that don’t pop. My father taught me to love science fiction and mysteries. I’m a dreamer whose secret wish was to be an actress and sing and dance on stage. I have lots of things I still want to do. A few of my favorite things include-discovering new restaurants, going to movies, traveling, seeing plays, children, my dogs, Elvis, reading books, The Beach Boys, and Rhett Butler because he doesn’t give a damn AND he can carry Scarlett up the stairs.

    Definition of Kicky-providing a kick or thrill, exciting

    Review: Vampire Academy was better than I thought it would be. It kept me entertained. I enjoyed the best friend of the vampire princess. She had some funny, thoughtful lines and was a real character with some depth. I enjoyed her male protector also. He was very good looking and likeable. As for the story, it was confusing. Why do the vampires have to be in a school?  I got lost with the story and would have liked more details. I would recommend this movie to adults. It looks like there will be a sequel. I will probably go see it. I give this movie 4 kicks out of 10.

    Karate Girl Sticker Car Window Decal Fight Woman Kick Neat Gift Vinyl Black Belt

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    A Guy’s Perspective

    2014-02-01 22.54.02

     

    Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.

    Review:  What can I say about Vampire Academy, except that I am clearly not a member of the film’s target audience?  I was frankly bored by the quick dialogue, frequent attempts at humor (another reviewer suggested it was actually funnier than it had any right to be), and the shallow characters.

    But to be fair, the aggressive marketing and film trailers of Vampire Academy did not do it any justice. I expected to be overwhelmed by teen angst, raging hormones, and sneering mean-spirited girls with axes to grind. Fortunately, such was not the case. The storyline was surprisingly adequate, although some aspects just flew over my head. Followers of Vampire Academy might be far more enamored.

    I would give it 4 Hulk Smash Fists out of 10.

    Comics Hulk Fist icon

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    Movie Review: Winter’s Tale

    Colleen’s Movie Review

    Romance: Okay this the kind of movie where you have to suspend logic and disbelief and that is true regarding the romance as well. These two are fated to be together somehow and yet that aspect is never really explained. They meet as he is robbing her home and he hears her play the piano. She sees him, has some charming dialogue, invites him to tea, and BAM they are in love. Now I get that she’s bold and daring because she’s dying but consumption is not a pretty way to go and this girl is very pretty. No blood, no coughing, not even a pale cheek which is a little funny considering Colin Farrell himself just died of consumption too in Saving Mr. Banks and it was a messy, very unpretty kind of death.

    Despite the how and why aspect of love, Peter and Beverly had some very nice scenes and I liked them being together.

    Whimsy meets blarney in silly romantic fantasy ‘Winter’s Tale’

    Special Effects: There were some cool demon things going on with Russell Crowe’s face. The flying horse with ethereal wings was nice. Oh and the judge’s shadow and teeth were wicked.

    What I Liked:

    • The horse! Really both of them the black and the white. I love horses and seeing one working as almost a character in a movie was cool. The scene when the two horses were moving in sync was awesome.
    • Beverly. She was a breath of fresh air. Ironic since she was dying but I loved her. I was drawn into her character.
    • The trick of the art with a woman’s sweep of red hair meaning not what they thought it meant was interesting.
    • The costumes. They were lovely. I really enjoy that time period and it reminded me of the costumes in Titanic.
    • Will Smith as Lucifer was a shocking and fun surprise. Completely unexpected and he was great in the role.

    What I’d Change: I didn’t get it. The backstory was insufficient. Are the stars angels? How do they come down to earth. Why? What’s the point in trying to win people to the dark side? Who cares if there are more stars in the sky? Why hunt down Peter Lake? What’s special about Peter Lake? How does this miracle thing work? Why did he cut his hair 100 years in the future? How does he not know who he is or have ID but he has an apartment in NYC with clothes? And, worst of all, his parents putting him in a tiny boat on the ocean as a newborn was the stupidest move I’ve ever seen. I don’t care how badly you want your kid to be in America, you don’t put him in a little boat. Seriously! It was a TOY boat! One tiny, insignificant wave and baby boy is fish food. Put the kid on somebody’s doorstep or drop him at an orphanage if its that important, or better yet, let him grow up with his parents who seemed like very decent not-too-bad-off parents. What was so horrible about their situation they’d essentially toss their kid overboard?

    Hunky Hero: Colin Farrell has an undeniable sort of charm about him. Especially when he works with kids. Unfortunately, his haircut, the shaved sections, reminded me of when he was Bullseye in Daredevil.

    The Villain: Russell Crowe was a good villain. If he and Colin Farrell were to actually have a real fistfight, I’d put my money on Russel Crowe with Colin getting in a few dirty punches. Will Smith was the real surprise. Loved him in this role.

    Best Line: When Beverly said, “If you don’t make love with me right now, no one ever will.”

    Best Scene: Probably anything involving the horse.

    Recommended for YA fans: Hmm. If you’re looking for a strange, inexplicable fantasy film with just enough romance to feel awkward sitting between your husband and your mother and/or if you love horses, this is the film for you.

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    Trailer

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    Grandma’s Review

    2014-01-19 15.04.07

     

    Grandma’s Bio: My name is Kathleen and I’m Colleen’s mom. I’m a mother of seven and grandmother of seventeen with one bun in the oven (not my oven). They’re all great. None of my kids are duds-you know, like the popcorn kernels that don’t pop. My father taught me to love science fiction and mysteries. I’m a dreamer whose secret wish was to be an actress and sing and dance on stage. I have lots of things I still want to do. A few of my favorite things include-discovering new restaurants, going to movies, traveling, seeing plays, children, my dogs, Elvis, reading books, The Beach Boys, and Rhett Butler because he doesn’t give a damn AND he can carry Scarlett up the stairs.

    Definition of Kicky-providing a kick or thrill, exciting

    Review: Winter’s Tale was much more enjoyable for me. The story was a bit confusing but I got into it more than I did Vampire Academy. I liked the main characters and could identify with them. There was a surprising twist in the story. Just when I thought the movie was over, a secondary story starts. The scenery was pretty and interesting.  There were many people who attended this movie. It was fun to see Will Smith in it. I give this movie 8 kicks out of 10.

    Karate Girl Sticker Car Window Decal Fight Woman Kick Neat Gift Vinyl Black Belt

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    A Guy’s Perspective

    2014-02-01 22.54.02

     

    Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.

    Review: Thirty-four years ago, Al Michaels immortalized the question, “Do you believe in miracles?” at the Lake Placid Winter Olympics. Viewers of Winter’s Tale are also asked to believe in angels and demons, faith and fantasy, flying horses and mythology, redemption and destiny, reincarnation and time travel—all in a modern world where skepticism abounds. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe in miracles, but it was a lot to take in and it does not all come together quite as seamlessly as it thinks it does.

    An unapologetic fantasy-romance, the film has star power aplenty, including an unexpected Will Smith playing the role of Lucifer, but my favorite character was the all-knowing white Horse, which not only performs magical acts, but mutely points a self-proclaimed professional thief, Peter Lake (Colin Farrell), to the residence of his soon-to-be girlfriend. She is not at all flummoxed when she confronts the thief, probably because she, a cancer patient with six months left to live, has little to lose. Peter is drawn to her courage and a romance ensues—not the whirlwind point-A to point-B type of romance so prevalent in many films, but a gradual interest in the other that is borne from conversation and discovery.

    There were enough twists and turns to keep me interested and the film, despite its flaws, did not disappoint. The ending actually left me satisfied.

    I would give it 6 Hulk Smash Fists out of 10.

    Comics Hulk Fist icon

    This entry was posted in A Guy's Perspective, Grandma's Review, Movie Review.

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    Colleen Houck

    New York Times Bestselling author Colleen Houck is a lifelong reader whose literary interests include action, adventure, paranormal, science fiction, and romance. When she's not busy writing, she likes to spend time chatting on the phone with one of her six siblings, watching plays, and shopping online. Colleen has lived in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, California, and North Carolina and is now permanently settled in Salem, Oregon with her husband and a huge assortment of plush tigers.