Colleen Houck

“I took hold of that scourge -filled ship and crushed it between my limbs, hurtling it into the second sun, the red one that gave me strength. But I was too late." Terraformer

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  • Movie Review-Godzilla

    May 26, 2014

    Movie Review: Godzilla

    I always give spoilers so consider yourself warned.

    Colleen’s Movie Review

    Romance: No real romance going on in this movie. Unless you count the Muto Monsters which are apparently so secret I can’t even find a picture of them on the internet. This is the closest thing I can find.



    Special Effects: So mind blowing good I couldn’t even attempt to describe them. The best effects I’ve seen in a long, long time.

    What I Liked: The monsters. They were so awesome that every time they were on screen, it was magical. I was utterly transfixed by their coolness.

    What I’d Change: Pretty much everything else. There were so many holes in the story that Godzilla could have crawled through them without bumping his head.

    Problem 1: If Godzilla is an apex predator and the Mutos are his prey, then why didn’t he eat them? What on earth would possess him to care about humanity enough to protect them from the creatures. What is their true relationship? That was never explained sufficiently. Also how has Godzilla been surviving all this time? What does he eat if not humans or Mutos?

    Problem 2: How does he breathe underwater? I didn’t see any gills or blowholes. Assuming he lives in the water to help offset the weight of his body, how can he walk upright in a city?

    Problem 3: The casting. First, the power plant parents in the beginning were way too old to have a son that age. Second, Elizabeth Olsen, who was so well disguised I didn’t even recognize her, was WAY too young to have even settled down let alone gotten a nursing degree AND have time to be a mother to a five year old. Aaron Taylor-Johnson who played Ford Brody did a passable but forgettable job. I actually thought the monsters had more character than any of the humans onscreen.

    Problem 4: WAY too much time was wasted in Japan. The whole setup was confusing and pretty much pointless. If the idea was to make us feel sorry for and identify with the father who lost his wife then he should have had more to do with the story. He should have been the scientist that figured everything out, which brings me to…

    Problem 5: The scientists. Any time I watch a movie and I feel more knowledgeable than the scientists means they’ve done a really bad job explaining the science. Vivienne Graham played by Sally Hawkins and Dr. Ishiro Serizawa played by Ken Watanabe mostly wrung their hands and made lame and entirely unscientific requests to “Let the monsters battle it out” and “Nature has a way of balancing itself.” What kind of sciency statements are those? Umm…okay. We’ll just hang out and see what happens. Maybe we’ll survive. Maybe not. But as long as nature and radiation are in charge, everything’s good.

    Problem 6: And speaking of not doing your job properly, let’s talk about the military. I haven’t seen such bumbling displays of military prowess since Battleship. The idea is for them to get a really big bomb, THE KIND THAT FEEDS THE CREATURES, which is already a bad idea, and draw them out to the ocean where they can do the least amount of damage. For some reason the nuclear vessels meant to tempt the creatures go all the way into the bay by the golden gate bridge, which is the most cliche’d location for movie destruction right behind the white house, and what do you know, the creatures steal the power source and use it to feed their babies. At the same time the bomb is loaded onto a train which just happens to run in a parallel course to the momma monster’s path even though they can track her easily. The train, in case you’re wondering was soon destroyed. She takes the bomb, which is already set to go off for some inane reason, to the heart of the city to also “feed her babies.” That’s when the military freaks out because not only are the monsters spawning but now they’ve bungled things badly enough that they need to send in a bunch of HALO jumpers with flares attached to their feet for some reason into the city to recover the bomb and/or turn it off. If they were smart enough to fly over the no power zone created by the monsters, why were they taking the bomb by train in the first place? But, I digress. So of course the team makes it to the bomb, are somehow able to hand carry it to a boat, (luckily for the them the monsters like to nest near the beach), but still they all get blasted by the creature intent on recovering the bomb even though her nest has been destroyed. Luckily, Godzilla steps in to save the day and even though the HALO team were all told bluntly that there was no extraction plan, there was, and our hero, who only got out 30 seconds before a nuclear blast, was safe. Whew! I mean what are the odds that a boy whose father witnesses the first inexplicable power surge that destroyed a power plant and his mother fifteen years before though it didn’t produce a creature at all even though the exact same thing happened again and a creature emerged, would grow up to become a bomb specialist that got dragged into the exact same situation and just happened to have expertise in HALO jumping, monster bomb retrieval, could jump start a boat, get married, father a kid, save a Japanese kid the same age in Hawaii, understand the crackpot scientists, AND remember insignificant details from his father’s research that led to obvious conclusions such as “Nature Always Balances Itself.” Luckily for him Godzilla stepped in to save the day AND there was an extraction plan.

    The Tagline: There were four.

    1) A king’s arrival is never silent

    2) The king will rise

    3) The king arrives

    4) The world ends, Godzilla begins

    The fourth is the best. Godzilla’s arrival was in fact kind of silent. Not sure about calling him a king. It feels a little wrong like they should be searching for a different word.

    Hunky Hero: Really the only hunky hero in this film in my opinion is Godzilla. See? He’s even giving you a Hey-Baby-Catch-You-Later look here.

    Godzilla 2014 Movie News

    The Villain: There were no villains. Just idiots. Oh and some giant creatures that just wanted to follow their instincts.


    Best Line: I rolled my eyes a bit at this one.

    Elle Brody: [as Ford leaves for Japan] You’ll only be gone a couple of days, and then you’ll come back to me. It’s not the end of the world.

    Best Scene: Probably the monster fight in San Francisco or the train scene in Hawaii.

    Recommended for YA fans: Why not. The movie is visually fun and the special effects are not to be missed. Just don’t go into it expecting anything to make sense.




    Grandma’s Review

    2014-01-19 15.04.07

    Grandma’s Bio: My name is Kathleen and I’m Colleen’s mom. I’m a mother of seven and grandmother of seventeen with one bun in the oven (not my oven). They’re all great. None of my kids are duds-you know, like the popcorn kernels that don’t pop. My father taught me to love science fiction and mysteries. I’m a dreamer whose secret wish was to be an actress and sing and dance on stage. I have lots of things I still want to do. A few of my favorite things include-discovering new restaurants, going to movies, traveling, seeing plays, children, my dogs, Elvis, reading books, The Beach Boys, and Rhett Butler because he doesn’t give a damn AND he can carry Scarlett up the stairs.

    Definition of Kicky-providing a kick or thrill, exciting

    Review: Compared to the Godzilla movies of the past, this one far outshone the others. There still wasn’t any real plot or story but the visual effects were definitely superb. I almost forgot that there was supposed to be a story. Even me with my unscientific mind I could see there were too many holes in the story and not enough explanation. I felt sorry for the two doctors who were supposed to be experts because they didn’t have any good lines or scientific facts to back them up. The doctor that died and his wife at least seemed to be more professional and it was too bad that they both had to die and not be involved in the story. One of my favorite parts was when the Muto creature got real close to the two men laying on the railroad bridge. That was fun! I also liked the glowing radioactive sack of eggs. I give this movie 8 out of 10 kicks.

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    A Guy’s Perspective

    2014-02-01 22.54.02

    Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.


    OMIG! (Oh My, It’s Godzilla!)

    Recalling that the last Godzilla movie in 1998 starring Matthew Broderick certainly did not live up to the hype, I approached this movie with some skepticism. This time I walked away with a greater appreciation for the Japanese monster. Imagine him as a cross between a T-Rex, a stegosaurus, and a teddy bear and you’ve got a cuddly giant-sized creature worth cheering for (though no one should get within 100 feet of him). Needless to say, the CGI effects were (or appeared to be) so flawlessly executed that it was disappointing that the three monsters (yes, Godzilla battles two) didn’t get more screen time.

    You know that feeling when you watch a film that some things just don’t add up or seem quite right, though you’re not really sure you understand why? I had that feeling pretty much through the 2-hour film. There was one night-time scene when Godzilla and his rival MUTO were facing off, and then, inexplicably, the next scene turned to broad daylight in the same city and the battle had moved elsewhere. It was odd. All told, there were a number of discrepancies and plot holes, but hey, it’s Godzilla! The director and producers probably had me in mind when they figured the audience would be too lazy or too stupid to catch on. (A minor case in point: Don’t laugh, but I stupidly thought the rival monster featuring a large pouch between his legs was a male, but it was actually a female’s pouch filled with eggs. The male was the smaller creature with wings, but I didn’t quite catch that… D’oh!)

    When my wife and I discussed the movie afterwards, she showed off her masterful story-telling prowess by easily rattling off the plot holes, impossibilities, and ridiculous details, many which I didn’t recognize until she mentioned them. With the exception of Bryan Cranston (Dr. Brody), the performances were largely unforgettable. If the many practical, cinematic, and scientific blunders don’t drive you crazy and you can endure that nagging feeling in your gut, you might find it a rather entertaining film as I did. I give it 7 Godzilla Smash Fists out of 10.


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    This entry was posted in A Guy's Perspective, Grandma's Review, Movie Review.

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    Author Bio
    Colleen Houck

    New York Times Bestselling author Colleen Houck is a lifelong reader whose literary interests include action, adventure, paranormal, science fiction, and romance. When she's not busy writing, she likes to spend time chatting on the phone with one of her six siblings, watching plays, and shopping online. Colleen has lived in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, California, and North Carolina and is now permanently settled in Salem, Oregon with her husband and a huge assortment of plush tigers.